슬픔이여 안녕 | 원제 Bonjour tristesse

Eye Catch[private]/book 2005/08/14 20:33 D.
조제, 호랑이 그리고 물고기들을 통해서 처음 알게된 Francoise Sagan.
1954년 프랑스 문학비평대상. 그의 나이18세에 발표한 첫 소설 .
슬픔이여 안녕(Bonjour tristesse) 본문 중 발췌..

나는 아버지가 어떤 모험의 과시를 하고 있다고는 생각하고 싶지 않았다. 아버지는 내게 그런 일들을 감추려 하지 않았을 뿐이다. 더 정확하게 말하면 집으로 빈번히 점심식사를 하러 오는 여자친구가 있거나 완전히 들어앉아 버리는 경우에도, 그것을 변명하기 위해서 적당한 말로 얼버무리거나 거짓말을 하는 일이 없었던 것이다. 하여튼 아버지가 그의 '여자 손님들'과 어떤 관계를 맺고 있는지를 내가 오랫동안 모르고 있을 수는 없는 일이었다. 그리고 아버지는 틀림없이 내 신뢰감을 지키고 싶어했기 때문에 힘든 변명을 늘어놓는 수고 같은 것은 하지 않아도 좋았을 것이다. 이것은 훌륭한 계산이었다. 이 계산의 단 한가지 결점이라면, 내 나이나 경험으로 미루어 생각해볼 때, 감동적이기 보다 즐거운 것처럼 보였던 사랑의 여러 가지에 관해서 환멸적인 냉소주의를 한동안 내게 불어넣어주었다는 점일 것이다.

'죄악이란 현대사회에서 존속되는 유일하게 살아 있는 색채의 주석(註釋)이다.' -오스카 와일드

안느는 말에 애매한 표현조차 쓰지 않았다.
그녀는 곧 악취미의 희롱이라는 것을 알았던 것이다.

"쎄실은 사랑에 대해서 너무 단순히 생각하는군.
그건 각기 남에게 예속되지 않은 감정의 연속은 아니야...
그것은 다른 것이야.
거기에는 한결같은 애정, 다정스러움, 부족함... 같은 것이 있어요. "

그녀는 내옷에 대해선 별로 관심도 보이지 않고 내 앞을 지나갔다.
그것은 나를 기쁘게 해줌과 동시에 내 자존심을 상하게도 만들었다.

갑자기 나는 아버지에 대해 심한 분노를 느꼈다.
아버지는 생각조차 할 수 없는 실례를 저지르고 있는 것이었다.

"아버지는 햇볕에 견디지 못해하는 붉은 머리 여자를 바다로 데리고 왔어요.
그리고 그녀가 온통 허물이 벗겨졌을 때 아버지는 그녀를 버린 것에요."

그들은 둘 다 행복한 표정으로 미소를 짓고 있었다. 그런 모습이 내게 깊은 인상을 새겨주었다.
행복이란 언제나 내게는 비준(아닐非승인될准)이요, 성공처럼 여겨졌기 때문이다.
2005/08/14 20:33 2005/08/14 20:33
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  1. kewl 2005/08/15 06:26  댓글주소  수정/삭제  댓글쓰기

    아놔;; 이래서 음주 써핑은 하면 안된다니까...
    욕들어가는 네글자 닷컴 도메인인데 1828, 1818, 2828 닷컴 무지쳤는데....
    신지네서 내 위에 글썼길래 거기 링크보고 orz;
    여기 방명록이 없어서 거기 남긴 글 수정한다는게 삭제를 했네. 답답해 ㅠㅠ
    (암튼 잡담 챙피 코멘트니까 읽고 지우도록햐~ 참! 나 니가생각한 그사람이 맞어 ㅋㅋ)

  2. D 2005/08/17 08:35  댓글주소  수정/삭제  댓글쓰기

    ㅡ.ㅡ오랜만에 이 형님이 장난하나!!!! ㅎㅎ 전번이나 비공개글로 남겨놔 연락할게 ㅎㅎ
    반갑~ ㅎㅎ 이게 얼마만이래..

  3. 비밀방문자 2005/08/18 23:06  댓글주소  수정/삭제  댓글쓰기

    관리자만 볼 수 있는 댓글입니다.

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